


New Player

by forgetcanon



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Gen, Poker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-02
Updated: 2013-11-02
Packaged: 2017-12-31 06:16:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1028238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forgetcanon/pseuds/forgetcanon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tali has never played Skyllian-Five poker. Ashley, Garrus, and Wrex take a minute to teach her how. They forget that Quarian ships have a lot of people and a lot of spare time that needs to be filled.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Player

There wasn’t much to do on the Normandy between missions, especially when Shepard wanted to take along biotics to help her talk a cultist down. It would have been more convincing if Shepard didn’t tend to bring Kaidan or Liara along everywhere anyway, oblivious to the way the two of them sized each other up like cage fighters before a match.

The Mako was dropped without incident. The Normandy settled into a low orbit to await the ground party’s return. The four ground team members left behind settled into the armory with a deck of cards, something they’d been meaning to do for a while, ever since Tali mentioned she had never heard of Skyllian Five poker.

“Tali, you know how to play?” Garrus asked, dealing. Two to each player, five face down on the crate in front of him. They could have done it in the mess deck, but that would have meant being mobbed by bored crewmen.

Ashley picked up her cards and rearranged them, her face blank. Wrex cackled as he looked at his, but that could really mean anything with him. Tali scrabbled to pick hers up, one at a time, and held them all separately.

“Not really,” she admitted, looking with difficulty between her cards. “Is it anything like Go Fishing?”

Ashley rubbed her forehead. “No, Tali. No it’s not. Alright, so we each have two cards, right? Keep those two cards to yourself, only you know what they are. In the middle we have five cards. First, the dealer will flip three of them over, that’s called the flop, and we’ll all bet on what we think our odds are. Then he’ll turn over the turn, and if there are still two players, the river. If there’s still more than one, we show our cards and whoever has the best hand takes the pot. If there’s only one person left before then, they take the pot. Got it?”

“Um,” Tali said, “Probably not. How do I know if I have a good hand?”

“Learn by doing,” Wrex said. “It’s the best way.”

Garrus sighed, turning over the flop. “Cards of the same suite and close in number are the way to go. The higher the number, the more they’re worth.”

They didn’t have proper poker chips. Wrex tossed three bullets onto the table. Tali hesitated, reaching for her own pile of bullets.

“No,” Ashley said, “I bet next. Except I’m folding. But if I was betting, you’d wait for me.”

“Oh,” Tali said, taking a single bullet from her pile and putting it on the crate.

 “You have to match his bet,” Garrus said. “He bet three, so you bet three, or more. That’s called a raise, and then he has to match you or fold.” Tali shook her head and complied.

After that, they made it to the river with a minimum of fuss. When Tali put her cards down, Ashley snorted. “Tali, your hand is trash.”

“It- it is?” Tali asked.

“Yeah,” Garrus agreed. “Complete trash. It’s a good thing we aren’t playing for credits, here.”

“Heh, there’s no honor in winning the clothes off your back,” Wrex agreed, collecting the pot.

They played until Tali started to learn what a proper hand was and how to fold when she had trash. It didn’t take long. Tali was sharp, despite her inexperience. Still, she had a mask and had no idea how to bluff, which in Ash’s eyes was a damn shame.

“Okay, I think I’ve got it,” Tali said at last. “For credits?”

Ashley had been about to shuffle. She paused. “You’re joking, right?” She said. “I mean, you’ve still been losing.”

Tali straightened, crossing her arms. “I have some pride, you know. I wouldn’t bet anything I couldn’t lose. Besides, if Wrex keeps on winning nothing but bullets, he might actually strangle me.”

Wrex shook his head. “Nah, I wouldn’t strangle you. Shoot you, maybe.”

“So,” Tali repeated, “Credits?”

“It’s your funeral bill,” Garrus said, shaking his head.

Ashley dealt and turned the first three cards- an Ace of hearts, a Jack of hearts, and a four of clubs. Tali barely even glanced at the cards. “I’ll start out with fifty.”

“Uh,” Ashley said, “Is that confidence or stupidity?”

“I like it,” Wrex said, looking at his cards and the community ones. He liked what he saw. “Makes losing sting a bit.”

“I don’t have that kind of money to throw around,” Garrus said, folding. “Especially not on a hand like that.”

Wrex grinned, matching Tali’s bet. Ashley turned over the next card, revealing a three of hearts. Three heart cards. Wrex liked it, she could tell because he was chuckling in a way that usually meant someone was about to be in a lot of pain.

 Tali immediately raised her bet another fifty credits.

“Tali,” Garrus said, “Really, are you-“

“I’m sure,” Tali said. “Are you, Wrex?”

Ashley frowned, looking at Tali’s faceplate carefully. She couldn’t see her expression through the foggy interior.

“It’s your money,” Wrex said, matching her bet.

As she flipped the Jack of clubs, Ash realized what was different than before. Wrex was tense, watching her hand, eager to know what the card said, but Tali was completely at ease.

“Gonna bet, Quarian?” Wrex asked.

“Why not,” Tali said, and added another fifty.

Wrex immediately matched it and tossed down a four of hearts and a six of hearts. “Flush,” he said triumphantly.

“Ah-ah,” Tali said, shooing his hands away from the pot. “Four-of-a-Kind beats a flush.” She put down the Jack of spades and the Jack of diamonds.

Garrus started to laugh. “You count cards!”

Wrex growled. “Is that true?”

Tali’s hands hovered uncertainly over the pot. “Ye-es,” she said, “I’m a Quarian. We don’t have much to do on long shifts except play cards. It isn’t hard to pick up how to count them.”

“In some places, you could get into a lot of trouble counting cards,” Ashley said.

Tali waved her hand and made a ‘pffff’ sound. “Anywhere worth going has an automatic shuffler, or virtual cards with a randomizer. Besides, now you know, and you’ll shuffle more often.”

Wrex’s mood shifted slightly, from shocked anger into amusement. “Shit, kid, you’ve got a quad, cheating a Krogan.”

Garrus glanced at the cards. “You know, where I come from, Four-of-a-Kinds are known as ‘quads.’”

Tali beamed. “I’ll admit, that’s why I risked cheating Wrex. The pun was _too_ good to resist.”

“Next time you cheat me, they’ll have to scrape you off the bulkhead.”

“Noted.” Tali collected the cards and expertly shuffled them.

**Author's Note:**

> To clarify- they're pretty much playing Texas Hold 'em, which is the only type of poker I actually know. The pot had a three of hearts, a jack of hearts, an ace of hearts, a four of clubs, and a jack of clubs- three heart cards and two jacks. Tali had the other two jacks, Wrex had two more hearts. According to the [rank of hands](http://www.texasholdem-poker.com/handrank), Tali's Four-of-a-KInd beat Wrex's flush. Tali was counting, and knew Wrex would get a flush, which is a good enough hand to go for it, so she could make him bet more, while she would get a hand that beat his.
> 
> And yes, I did write this for the "quad" joke.


End file.
